Too Many 13s, Charlize. Just Bad Luck

Our no. 13 top link today is for the flick "Aeon Flux," which made about $13 million this weekend in a distant second to You Know Who, whose cinematic juggernuat leaves only destruction in its wake. (Gory details, as always, are here.) And, whereas we didn't see "Flux," we saw the trailer, and had some questions about it, especially the part where Charlize Theron is firing two sub-machine guns — one forwards, one backwards — and wiping out rows of henchmen on either side of her. And we thought to ourselves, y'know, couldn't the henchmen to her right, whom she hasn't yet blasted, just, kind of, bust a cap right in her dome? Anyway, we weren't the only one suspicious of the project. The msm was characteristically vicious in its reviews, and judging from a few bloggers' reactions, the movie is demonstrative of that old Tinseltown truism: Charlize Theron Flying Through the Air in a Black Catsuit Does Not a Blockbuster Make. Abo8 spells it out for us: "The biggest thing missing from this movie is a plot, which is kinda something you need in a movie. There was too much unexplainable events and too much predictable and unrealistic events. This movie was so terrible I don't even know how I am going to rate it, I started out with a D- but it slowly crept lower, and F just leaves a strange uneasiness to my stomach. So I am rating this movie an R-, cause quiet frankly it was worse than retarded." And that, children, is why you may think in your budget meetings you can skimp on the writers, but why you never, ever should.

Posted by Philip Ewing at December 5, 2005 10:17 AM

Category: Moving Pictures